what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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