The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
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I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
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I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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