Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
