She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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