just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
