he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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