Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
