The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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