i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize