You made me cry and you don't even care
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
