Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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