Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Randomize
