i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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