Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
