At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Can I color on your dick again?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
