Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
