This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
