I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
