Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
