Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
