I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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