Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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