Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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