Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
