Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
