if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
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end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
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I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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