Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
