bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
