I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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