If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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