I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
