Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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