i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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