I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
