So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Randomize
