They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
3 2 1 whiskey
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
