from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
