in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
