Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
