and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
