What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
