dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
