I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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