I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I have already put on my inside pants.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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