Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
