New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
