i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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