why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You may now shotgun with the bride
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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