Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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