Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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