make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
that is very illegal...i love you.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize