We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
im having a threesome with these popsicles
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
