marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
