Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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