I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
