Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize