i love accidental penises.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
