would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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