So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There r osticjed everywhere
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
