Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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