Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
