can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
