If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Randomize
