roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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