Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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