I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
