Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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