oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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